It’s been a long time since the last SIWI, simply because there hasn’t been much you should watch as of late. So to get back in the swing of things, I thought doing one for a movie you’re going to see regardless of my advice was fitting. Be honest: your money is already spent. Is it worth it?
Do you love Loki?
How about James Spader?
Probably not as pressing, but if his voice grinds your gears, you’ll either find it very easy to root against Ultron and his destructive morality, or you’ll wish he did a little less talking. Really, though, Ultron makes for a fascinating character and a semi-terrifying villain, though not as threatening as whatever and whoever lies ahead in the Infinity War installments. But more importantly…
Who would’ve been the best choice for Ultron’s voice?
I think Matthew McConaughey (specifically the Lincoln version) is the pretty obvious choice. Perhaps using his dulcet tones would have made it too difficult to root for the Avengers as they tackle their creepily intelligent foe, but come on — is there any other voice you’d rather have ushering in the end of the world as we know it?
So are they really trying in this movie, or are they simply taking our billions of dollars?
As far as sequels to immensely successful, highly acclaimed, superhero-filled, franchise-building megabits go, this one does a perfectly suitable job. The Marvel Universe will continue to expand for years to come, and I expect great things from the Avengers’ future endeavors. In this outing, we get a great balance of action and almost punchy one-liners, not to mention a pleasant mix of the various leading characters. Everyone gets a chance to steal the spotlight for brief moments (and Thor rightfully takes a leading role), which makes for a fun ride, albeit one with numerous subplots that make the film feel longer than its relatively moderate run time. The story is essentially one drawn-out thought experiment, but the incredible action sequences and chemistry within the case makes it worthwhile. On a side note I can’t stop thinking about…
Which Avenger would cause you the most pain while destroying you?
I suppose arguments can be made for pretty much anyone based on different contexts, but let’s think it through. Hawkeyes and Black Widow are incredibly precise. They’ll hit their marks and leave no doubt, so they’re out. Hulk could certainly leave you in agony, but it should all be over quickly as long as he makes a clean, rage-filled strike. Tony Stark might taunt you and prolong your pain, but when it comes down to it in the heat of battle, Iron Man is doing away with me quickly. I’m still a bit confused about the nature of Thor’s hammer, but suffice to say it looks strong enough to destroy me rather efficiently. So that leaves Captain America. Every time I saw him in action, I couldn’t help but think of the searing pain that would come with a slice from that tricky shield he wields. OW. Am I right? I’m right. He’s pretty accurate, but if he gets you with a non-lethal toss? That is a deep and painful slice that will haunt you in your dying moments. Ok, glad we had this talk.
But anyway, I think we can all agree J.A.R.V.I.S. is great, but we needed more Paul Bettany in the Marvel world. Wish granted. That should be reason enough to see the movie.
So was this helpful? I can’t imagine so. But be real: you’re seeing it anyway. This is a nice thing we have going.