Your Guide to Fictional Thanksgiving Invites

top image from this twisted photoshop

 

Not sure where you are headed this Thanksgiving?  Trying to sort out what friends’ or acquaintances’ residence you will be crashing this year?  We are here to help.  Sort of.  In deciding where you should chow down, here are some potential homes you will want to consider whether to PASS or ACCEPT the families’ invitation to dine.  Should any of these families contact you, please let either us or your nearest emergency room know ASAP.

 

 

The Von Trapps

Sound+of+Music+Dinner

 

Oh man.  You’d spend all night listening to these Nazi sympathizers (that’s what the movie’s about – right?) and how lucky they were to pair their daughter who was not even 17 off to an eligible soldier.  Weird sexual tension between the father and the nanny.  They’d all be dressed in matching attire in a big, creepy house.  And they’d sing – everything.

 

Even worse?  They might involve their cousins:

The Sound of Music Live! - Season 2013

from NBC

 

PASS.

 

The Bauer Family

 

via

FOR THE TURKEY! (via)

This would be awful.  Just Jack sipping whiskey alone at a dimly lit table.  You might also get shot at.  Or torture-interrogated.  Or have to talk to Kim Bauer, who is the worst.

 

PASS.

 

The Weasley Family

 

from the Harry Potter wiki

from the Harry Potter wiki

Given his fascination with the Muggle world, one would assume Mr. Weasley would provide the family with some unique ideas for their feast as from various non-magic magazines.  Add some Martha Stewart-inspired stuffing recipes to literal wizards in the kitchen?  Sounds magically delicious.  Wizard food on the whole looks to be over-the-top and served with minimal fuss, so a guest would undoubtedly leave full.

Plus, you may very well meet Harry Potter.

 

ACCEPT.

 

 

The Waynes

 

sad batman

Major downer.

 

PASS.

 

 

The Dobacks/Huffs 

 

A gathering powered by Prestige Worldwide?  Chewbacca masks and swords at every place setting?  Tuxedo-only dress code?  Count us in. We know the brothers (sort of) read Good Housekeeping so the table would no doubt look impeccable, and Dale picked up some tricks from the catering biz, no doubt so one can only imagine the extravaganza.  Everyone knows there would be lively dinner table conversation and appropriate music to set the holiday mood.

 

ACCEPT.

 

The Addams Family 

 

from HuffPo

from HuffPo

 

A very nice family, the Addams would certainly provide a stimulating environment and conversation for a meal.  What that meal might be… less certain.  It seems Cousin It would have a great many things to say and the family lives in a quite spectacular (albeit creepy, spooky &  altogether kooky) mansion.  So long as you are not vegan, the Addams would probably be fun turkey day dinner companions.

 

And get enough wine in him, Lurch is one heck of a dancer:
 

 
ACCEPT.

 

 

The Bluths

 

from the AD wiki

from the AD wiki

Has anyone in this family even SEEN a chicken turkey?

 

PASS (but go for after-dinner cocktails).

 
 
 

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About Author: Will McMahon

Will has eclectic movie, television and music tastes. He likes Batman, horror movies and Mark Ruffalo. Has seen every episode of 'The O.C.' at least twice, so take him with a large grain of salt. Accomplished beard grower. Bad movie enthusiast. Lyrical genius. Some have said he is a real-life version of Nick Miller from 'New Girl.' No word on whether or not this is a compliment.