Not sure where you are headed this Thanksgiving? Trying to sort out what friends’ or acquaintances’ residence you will be crashing this year? We are here to help. Sort of. In deciding where you should chow down, here are some potential homes you will want to consider whether to PASS or ACCEPT the families’ invitation to dine. Should any of these families contact you, please let either us or your nearest emergency room know ASAP.
The Von Trapps
Oh man. You’d spend all night listening to these Nazi sympathizers (that’s what the movie’s about – right?) and how lucky they were to pair their daughter who was not even 17 off to an eligible soldier. Weird sexual tension between the father and the nanny. They’d all be dressed in matching attire in a big, creepy house. And they’d sing – everything.
Even worse? They might involve their cousins:
The Bauer Family
This would be awful. Just Jack sipping whiskey alone at a dimly lit table. You might also get shot at. Or torture-interrogated. Or have to talk to Kim Bauer, who is the worst.
The Weasley Family
Given his fascination with the Muggle world, one would assume Mr. Weasley would provide the family with some unique ideas for their feast as from various non-magic magazines. Add some Martha Stewart-inspired stuffing recipes to literal wizards in the kitchen? Sounds magically delicious. Wizard food on the whole looks to be over-the-top and served with minimal fuss, so a guest would undoubtedly leave full.
Plus, you may very well meet Harry Potter.
A gathering powered by Prestige Worldwide? Chewbacca masks and swords at every place setting? Tuxedo-only dress code? Count us in. We know the brothers (sort of) read Good Housekeeping so the table would no doubt look impeccable, and Dale picked up some tricks from the catering biz, no doubt so one can only imagine the extravaganza. Everyone knows there would be lively dinner table conversation and appropriate music to set the holiday mood.
The Addams Family
A very nice family, the Addams would certainly provide a stimulating environment and conversation for a meal. What that meal might be… less certain. It seems Cousin It would have a great many things to say and the family lives in a quite spectacular (albeit creepy, spooky & altogether kooky) mansion. So long as you are not vegan, the Addams would probably be fun turkey day dinner companions.
And get enough wine in him, Lurch is one heck of a dancer:
PASS (but go for after-dinner cocktails).